SCENE 386. INT. ORCA CABIN. NIGHT.
QUINT: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side: "Ah-So!" Just like that, Chief. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. You know, I think that's where those little yellow devils got the idea for sushi, Hooper? A thousand sailors bobbin' around like so much raw fish...[HE TAILS OFF, LAUGHING]
QUINT: Don't get me wrong, Hooper, the Toyota Supra had great handling and I'm as partial to a chicken chowmein roll as the next guy but -
HOOPER: Jesus, Quint, that's Chinese!
QUINT: Well velly solly, college boy. They all look the same when they're pointin' a gun in your face. [HE NAILS HOOPER WITH A LOOK]
HOOPER: Are you still allowed to talk like that?
QUINT: You are if you're joking.
HOOPER: And are you? Joking, I mean.
QUINT: I don't hold no grudges Mr. Hooper. I love E. Honda.
HOOPER: I don't believe -
BRODY: Tell us about the Indianapolis, Quint.
QUINT: Well, I never trusted a ship with the word 'Indian' in the name - they piss in your food. But that's by the by.
QUINT: Don't you mean 'Mohammed'? I thought you were an educated man, Mr. Hooper.
HOOPER: [SHAKING HIS HEAD]: Vishnu.
QUINT: Bless you. Anyway, Chief, we was comin' back from the island of Tintin, Tibet, Rin Tin Tin, Tinion to Leyte. They all sound the same to me. Have you ever noticed that, Chief?
HOOPER: I hate you.
QUINT: [PLOUGHING ON REGARDLESS]. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Know what the last words of the mayor of Hiroshima were, Mr. Hooper? "What the fuck was that?" Hahahaha. Bruce Lee was a saint, though. So, eleven hundred men went into the water because of that yellow submarine. Don't misunderstand me, Chief; those Clouseau movies wouldn't be the same without that Kato. I love that guy. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Unless Uncle Ben has cut off the fin to make soup with. What's that, Hooper? You got something to say? I own two Ken Hom Non Stick Woks, you know. Anyway, what we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a Chink's eyes: "Herro, velly solly, sairor, dinner time. I wan American Chop suey? GRRRRCRUNCH!"
HOOPER: I've had enough of this.
QUINT: Sit down, Hooper! I love Micky Rooney. "Oh, Miss, Gorrightry! Prease Miss Gorightry!" Hahahaha.
BRODY: [GENTLY, TO HOOPER] Sit down, Mat.
QUINT: When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Don't know where he is now chief, probably written A Brief History of Time and talkin' like a Speak and Spell machine.
HOOPER: Shut up! Shut up, Quint! Just shut up!
QUINT: [ADOPTING ROBOT VOICE]: "Spell 'Irony'...'I' 'R' 'O' 'N' 'Y'
BRODY: That's enough, Quint!
QUINT: [LAUGHS AND ADOPTS A MOCK PRAYER STANCE] Velly, velly, solly Cheify. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb. Blew their little yellow skin off. Hahahaha. Two-ton bomb. Wanton soup. Hahahahahahahahaha!
THERE'S A LONG PAUSE. BRODY AND HOOPER STARE AT QUINT IN DISBELIEF.
QUINT: What? Stop starin' like a couple a prom virgins seen their first hornpipe. It's OK cause it's funny! I got the whole series of Hong Kong Phooey on DVD you know?
A BIG SHARK EATS THEM.
SCENE 198. INT ROCKY'S BEDROOM. DAY
SAM ELLIOT STANDS WITH A STRAIGHT BACK. CHER IS READING A NOTE. TEARS RUN DOWN HER PLASTIC NOSE.
ROCKY DENNIS V/O: These things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a Harley, seeing monkeys in the trees, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face. These things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun, shining on my face.
CHER: I am so sad, Sam Elliot. Hold me!
SAM ELLIOT HOLDS HER CLOSE.
CHER: I know he is in heaven but I want to see him and I can't break through!
SAM ELLIOT: Say that again.
CHER: I can't break through.
SAM ELLIOT: What has happened to your voice? It sounds as though you have throat cancer and have had your voicebox replaced with a machine.
THEY LAUGH, TOGETHER.
CHER: Hahahahaha. God that's funny! [PAUSE] I still miss Rocky, though.
SAM ELLIOT: It's probably for the best.
CHER: You're right.
SAM ELLIOT: I mean, where the hell was I gonna get a crash helmet to fit him?
SAM ELLIOT: Where would we find a peruke vendor to weave a wig made from eggs?
CHER: You bastard! I am going to hit you with a tyre iron like a biker chick would!
SAM ELLIOT: He ruined my potholing weekends with the gang.
CHER: I am so upset! You are evil!
SAM ELLIOT: Hahaha. It's OK, some of my best friends are lumpies.
SCENE 112. EXT. A HUGE DODECHAHEDRON MADE FROM MIRRORS. DAY
THE LAST REMAINING DALEKS HAVE FORMED TWO LINES. THE FRONT PAIR REPEATEDLY CRASH INTO THE EXTERIOR WALLS OF THE DODECAHEDRON.
DALEK 1: Master! Master! Master!
DALEK 2: Master! Master! Master!
THE DALEKS AT THE REAR SHUNT THOSE IN FRONT. EVERY DALEK REAR ENDS THE DALEK IN FRONT. THERE IS A HUGE PILE UP, LIKE THE END OF BEVERLY HILLS COP. STUPID DALEKS.
SCENE 113. INT. DODECHAHEDRON. DAY
THE DOCTOR CIRCLES DAVROS LIKE A GLEEFUL VULTURE.
DALEKS (OFF): Master! Master! Master!
DOCTOR: Excitable, aren't they.
DAVROS: Soon they will exterminate you, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Oh I don't think so. [SHOUTING] You're not going to exterminate anyone, are you?
SCENE 114. EXT. DODECHAHEDRON. DAY
DALEK1: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
THE REST OF THE DALEKS FOLLOW SUIT, SHRIEKING IN CRAZY UNISON. DALEK 1 FIRES AT THE DODECHAHEDRON. A BEAM OF LETHAL LIGHT CONNECTS WITH THE CONSTRUCTION, JUST NEXT TO A SIGN THAT READS 'THALIMINUM. DALEK RESISTANT ALLOY'. THE DISCHARGED LIGHT BOUNCES FROM THE MIRROR AND DESTROYS THE DALEK. THE OTHER DALEKS FIRE. THEIR BLASTS ALL BOUNCE BACK. SOON EVERY LAST DALEK STANDS SMOKING AND LIFELESS.
SCENE 115. INT. DODECHAHEDRON. DAY
DOCTOR: They seem awfully quiet, don't they?
DAVROS: Attack! Attack! Attack!
DOCTOR: You sound a bit silly doing that. I don't think you've trained your pets very well Davros.
DAVROS: They will exterm-
DOCTOR: Yes yes yes. I know the drill. But you're wrong. Your Daleks are dead Davros! Not that they were ever truly alive. Every last one is destroyed. And you're next.
DAVROS: You would never kill, Doctor. You are too weak!
DOCTOR: Don't tempt me.
DAVROS: I'm helpless. Destroy your enemy, Doctor. Destroy me! [PAUSE]. I thought as much. You cannot kill me Doctor. But you cannot let me escape, for you know I will destroy you!
DOCTOR: You - you're right.
DAVROS: Then how do you suggest we settle this?
THE DOCTOR PAUSES, RUBBING HIS CHIN SLOWLY WITH A JELLY BABY.
DOCTOR: Bicycle race?
DOCTOR: Step-Reebok wars?
DAVROS: You mock me, Doctor.
DOCTOR: How about a game of hopscotch?
DOCTOR: Or a blinking competition.
DAVROS WAVES HIS DEFORMED HANDS AROUND.
DOCTOR: Ah, bless, Barney impressions.
DAVROS: Stop it! You - you are a horrible, horrible time lord Doctor. You mock my deformities.
DOCTOR: Well, let's face it, you're pretty funny. [BEAT] Well, you are. With your spackky little hands and your rubbish legs.
THE DOCTOR PUSHES HIS TONGUE INTO HIS BOTTOM LIP AND SLAPS HIS WRIST IN A TRADITIONAL JOEY DEACON GESTURE.
DOCTOR: Neeeeeghegehgeheeh, Spackros! Ooh, ooh Joey's dropped his shoe in the sea. Ooh, ooh, so what: Davros has never even owned shoes! Bleeelenene. Spackros!
A GIANT SILVER TEAR FORMS IN DAVROS'S SINGLE EYE, IT CRISS-CROSSES THE WRINKLES IN HIS EVIL FACE BEFORE DROPPING TO HIS CONTROL CONSOLE AND BURSTING ON A BUTTON MARKED 'MAKE DALEKS SHOUT'.
DAVROS: You. Are. Evil.
DOCTOR: Oh come on! Hawking laps this stuff up. What's wrong with you?
THE DOCTOR OPENS THE TARDIS DOOR.
DOCTOR: I'll tell you what. Come on into the Tardis. I know how to cheer you up. You can touch my BAFTAs if you like.
DOCTOR: Sure, come on in. I've won 50, you know.
DAVROS SMILES A PATHETIC LITTLE SMILE.
DOCTOR: Ah, that's better, little cripple.
DAVROS: You, you want to be my friend?
DOCTOR: Of course. You can come to Jamaica with me. If you like. We'll dress up in Bob Marley wigs and laugh at some darkies. It'll be great.
DAVROS: Where are your BAFTAs?
DOCTOR: Top of stairs, turn left, up the ladder then top shelf! Help yourself. [BEAT] Hahahahahahaha!
HE SLAMS THE DOOR IN DAVROS'S CRUSHED FACE. TARDIS DEMATERIALIZES. END CREDITS OVER A MELANCHOLIC REGGAE VERSION OF THE 'DOCTOR WHO' THEME.
SC1. THE SIMPSON’S KITCHEN. DAY.
BART: Great pancakes Mom.
MARGE: Thank you honey. They come in a squeeze bottle now.
BART: Pass the maple syrup Homer.
HOMER PICKS UP A LADLE. UNDER THE TABLE IS A BARREL OF MAPLE SYRUP. HE SCOOPS A LADLE OF SYRUP FOR BART. AS HOMER PASSES IT ACROSS THE TABLE WE NOTE THE LADLE IS FULL OF HOLES. THE MAPLE SYRUP DRIPS OUT, ALL OVER HOMER'S PANCAKES.
BART: Hey! This is empty!
HOMER: Then perhaps you shouldn't eat so fast.
BART: Hand over the syrup big guy. I know you're holding.
HOMER DRUMS THE BARREL UNDER THE TABLE WITH HIS FINGERS AND WHISTLES.
HOMER: I don't know what you're talking about.
MARGE: Give him some syrup Homie.
HOMER: I don't see why I should...[HE TAILS OF GRUMBLING]
BART: Ante up Homer.
HOMER UNROLLS A 'CUTLERY' TOOL ROLL. IT IS LABELLED 'SERVING SIZES, VARIOUS.' CU TOOL ROLL. EACH ITEM IS LABELLED: 'TEASPOON', 'TABLE SPOON', 'DESSERT SPOON'. THE CAMERA PANS ALONG TO REVEAL 'LADLE', 'SHOVEL', 'BUCKET', 'DUMPSTER'. HOMER DRIFTS OFF INTO A DREAM: THE DUMPSTER, FULL OF PORK RIND, IS BEING POURED INTO HOMER'S MOUTH. WE PULL BACK TO REVEAL A QUEUE OF PEOPLE BEHIND HIM, ALL HOLDING SPOONS, A WEEPING TRADESMAN STANDS NEXT TO HOMER AT A FOOD STALL, BOASTING THE SIGN – 'TROTTERS PIG FAT. GRAND OPENING. FREE SAMPLE. ONE PER CUSTOMER'. HOMER ROLLS AWAY, PATTING HIS STOMACH. THE NEXT CUSTOMER STEPS FORWARD AND HOLDS OUT THEIR SPOON. THE WEEPING TRADESMAN PULLS A CHORD. A SHUTTER COMES DOWN IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMER'S FACE. A SIGN READS 'CLOSED. FOR SALE: ONE MARKET STALL, ONE DO-IT-YOURSELF HOG RENDERING KIT. OFFERS'. HOMER SNAPS OUT OF HIS REVERIE
BART: Ante up Homer.
HOMER LETS HIS FINGERS PLAY ALONG THE TOOL ROLL: PAST 'TABLE SPOON', 'TEASPOON' AND, NEXT, 'COKE SPOON'. HE FINALLY SETTLES ON 'PIPETTE' AND EXTRACTS A SINGLE DROP OF MAPLE SYRUP, WHICH HE DROPS ON BART'S PANCAKE.
MARGE [GETTING ANGRY]: Homer, share!
HOMER IS NOW WEARING A HAT WITH TWO CANS OF SYRUP ON IT AND STRAWS RUNNING DOWN TO HIS MOUTH. HE RELUCTANTLY REMOVES ONE CAN AND THROWS IT TO BART.
BART: That's more like it.
BART STARTS SHAKING IN A QUITE TERRIFYING FASHION. HE IS SQUIRTING MAPLE SYRUP EVERYWHERE BUT ON HIS FOOD.
LISA: You shouldn't eat so much maple syrup anyway. It's packed with calories.
HOMER: Mmmm, calories.
LISA: All that sugar is bad for the liver.
HOMER: Mmmm, liver
BART IS SQUIRTING JETS OF MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER THE KITCHEN.
MARGE: What’s the matter, Bart?
BART: I don't know. I can't stop shaking.
LISA: You look like you’re having muscle spasms Bart. I think you must be really unwell.
MARGE: Homer, this is terrible.
HOMER: I know, look at all the maple syrup he's wasting.
MARGE: I mean the shaking!
LISA: Do something Dad!
HOMER GRABS A DUFF AND GIVES IT TO BART. BART CAN'T HELP BUT SHAKE IT UP. THE CAN SWELLS UP DANGEROUSLY.
HOMER: Heh heh heh. That one's got your name on it, Flanders.
BART: Mom, I can’t stop sssshhhaking.
LISA: What's wrong with him?
SC2. INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.
DOCTOR HIBBERT: I'm afraid Bart has Parkinson's. Ha ha ha.
HOMER: Have you been stealing again, boy?
LISA: No Dad; Parkinson's is neurodegenerative disease that effects the brain and muscles. Michael J Fox has it.
MARGE: Is there a cure?
HOMER: Of course there's a cure Marge. But how can I afford a car that travels through time?
HIBBERT: Actually that was just a movie. There's no real cure for Michael J Fox, or for Bart.
MARGE BEGINS WEEPING.
HIBBERT: Can we have a nurse in here to council this woman.
TWO NURSES WALK IN. ONE IS SAMUEL L JACKSON, THE OTHER IS LETICIA DEAN.
SAM: Calm down, woman. Aint cool playin' no cry-baby jive momma.
LISA: Why are you being played by Samuel L Jackson?
SAM: I hang with the scribe. You dig?
LISA: Not really, no.
LETICIA DEAN: He means that he's friends with the writer. So am I. The writer knows loads of famous people.
MARGE: And who are you again?
LETTICE: Leticia Dean, from Eastenders and The Hello Girls.
MARGE: No, sorry. Still no idea. Anyway, Doctor, is there really no cure?
HIBBERT: No, but we discover new things all the time. Today, for instance, at the script read-through, I discovered that cripples can be funny. Hoh ho hoh.
MARGE: Then what do you suggest we do?
DOCTOR HIBBERT: I recommend you keep Bart calm and try not to draw attention to the problem until I can find a cure.
SC3. INT. CAR. DAY
HOMER IS DRIVING WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN. BART IS SHAKING IN THE BACK. THE CAR STEREO IS BLASTING OUT 'SHAKING ALL OVER'. HOMER IS SINGING ALONG.
HOMER: Got the shakes in my knee bones, got the tremors in my thigh bones. Ooohoooh, shaking all over. Don't worry son. I'll take your mind of things and cheer you up.
A BAD MONTAGE PLAYS OF HOMER ATTEMPTING TO CHEER BART UP. MUSIC IS SOMETHING SOPPY LIKE 'WIND BENEATH MY WINGS' (BUT A BETTER IDEA). IN ONE SCENE HOMER TAKES BART FOR A MILK SHAKE. IN ANOTHER HE GOES THROUGH THE TRADITIONAL FATHER-SON BONDING OF TEACHING BART TO RIDE A BIKE. WHEN HOMER LETS GO, THE QUIVERING BART WEAVES ACROSS THE ROAD AND CRASHES INTO A CAR. IN ANOTHER, A NAKED HOMER WRAPS A TOWEL AROUND BART AND USES HIM AS ONE OF THOSE MACHINES THAT SHAKE YOUR FLAB OFF. IN THE FINAL SCENE BART AND HOMER ARE WALKING DOWN THE ROAD WITH ICE CREAMS. BART'S HAS GONE ALL OVER THE FLOOR. THEY PASS A STREET PERFORMER/MIME ARTIST/BREAKDANCER WHO STARTS 'JACKING HIS BODY' IN ELECTRO STYLE ALONG WITH BART'S MUSCLE SPASMS. HOMER LAUGHS.
SC6. INT. CAR. DAY.
HOMER IS DRIVING BART BACK TO THE HOSPITAL. 'SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROLL' IS BLARING OUT. HE IS SINGING ALONG.
SC7. INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.
MARGE: It's no use Doctor. He's getting worse. You must be able to help!
HIBBERT: Well, there might be one cure.
LISA: What is it?
HIBBERT: The healing medicine of laughter. Ho ho ho.
MARGE: Quick Homer. Tell a joke.
HOMER: Question - what did you get for Christmas? Answer - shot.
A TUMBLE WEED BLOWS IN. DOCTOR HIBBERT LAUGHS.
MARGE: It's not working! Do something.
KRUSTY'S VOICE IS HEARD OFF.
KRUSTY: Hey hey hey.
LISA: I have an idea. Dad, how much money do you have in the whole world?
HOMER: Twelve dollars.
LISA: Including your Duff Fund.
HOMER [RELUCTANTLY]: Eleven thousand dollars.
LISA: Quick, give it to me.
SC8. INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.
THE SIMPSONS ARE GATHERED AROUND BART'S BED. HOMER IS HOLDING A WEDGE OF CASH AND WEEPING. KRUSTY WALKS IN, SMOKING A CIGARETTE.
KRUSTY: Hey, hey, hey. OK, let's get this over with. Hey kid, why did the rapist cross the road?
BART: I dddddoooon't knooooow.
KRUSTY SNATCHES UP THE CASH FROM HOMER.
KRUSTY: And you're never gonna find out unless you can come up with another ten grand. I don't come cheap. Your five seconds are up. Adios.
MARGE: That's it. My son's going to die. What can we do?
HIBBERT: There's just one more chance.
HIBBERT: A specialist. He's in town at the moment. He just might be able to make Bart laugh.
HOMER: But we've got no more money. And no more beer.
HIBBERT: He does a lot of work for charity. Live8, things like that. He just might be able to save your son.
SIMPSONS: Who is he?
GERVAIS: Me, Ricky Gervais, of course. From the Office and Extras.
LISA: Can you help make Bart laugh, Mr Gervais?
GERVAIS: Well, let's see. Hey there little fella. No need to be afraid. Stop shaking.
LISA: He's not afraid. He's got Parkinson's Disease.
GERVAIS: What does that mean, he can't stop licking celebrities' arses and thinks Jamie Cullum is the next Frank Sinatra?
LISA: It means his brain doesn't communicate with his muscles properly.
GERVAIS: Poor little chinky.
LISA: What's a chinky?
GERVAIS: You should know. You are one.
LISA: I don't understand.
GERVAIS: Funny, it's usually us that don't understand you.
GERVAIS: You know, your little yellow accents and stuff.
LISA: Are you implying that I'm Chinese?
GERVAIS: Or Japanese; who knows these days. Woah! Look at that guy.
GERVAIS HAS SPOTTED A PATIENT ON A BREATHING MACHINE. HE HOPS OVER TO HIM AND MIMICS THE DEEP BREATHS.
GERVAIS: You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor!
THE PATIENT'S BREATHING GETS FASTER.
GERVAIS: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
THE PATIENT FLATLINES.
GERVAIS: Is there a bee in here? Can anyone else hear a bee?
LISA: That's his monitor. You've killed him.
GERVAIS: Oh well, just a bit of fun. Do you want to see my BAFTAs.
LISA: How many do you have?
GERVAIS: I lose count I'm so excellent. Jonathan Ross is a twat, by the way.
HE HANDS BAFTAs AROUND THE ROOM.
GERVAIS: Plenty for everyone.
HOMER BITES INTO ONE.
GERVAIS: Yeah, you can bite them. They're solid gold.
HOMER: Mmmmm, solid gold. [HE BITES A HUGE CHUNK OUT OF ONE]
GERVAIS: My BAFTA! You’ve damaged one of the precious BAFTAs that I am absolutely indiferent to. Although I'm not really.
GERVAIS CRIES. EVERYONE LAUGHS.
LISA: Look, Mom, Bart's stopped shaking!
MARGE: Thank you Mr Gervais. You've saved our son…
GERVAIS: Hmm. Not really much of a son though, is he? Bright yellow, head like a dustbin, voice like a girl on helium. Not really your average Billy Elliot.
MARGE: Well he's ours, and he's alive.
THE SIMPSONS HUG.
GERVAIS: Looks like my work here is just about done.
A CCTV CAMERA WHIRS ON GERVAIS.
SC9. INT. MR BURNS' OFFICE.DAY.
MR BURNS IS WATCHING THE HOSPITAL ON CCTV.
BURNS: Who is that go-getting fat man, Smithers?
SMITHERS: That's Homer Simpson, sir.
BURNS: Simpson eh? That's just the kind of flid-mocker we need around here.
SMITHERS: He already works for you sir.
BURNS: Funny. I don't recall seeing him before. I'm sure I'd remember that sarcastic manner and those needle teeth.
SMITHERS: Oh, no sir, you mean Ricky Gervais.
BURNS: Gervais, eh? Who is he?
SMITHERS: He's English, sir. He's won 50 BAFTAs for mocking race and disability.
BURNS: Hahahaha. He sounds hilarious Smithers. Get me his number right away. He can perform at my brother's funeral.
SMITHERS: But your brother isn't dead sir.
BURNS: He will be tomorrow. He's costing me far too much in Christmas cards.
SMITHERS: Very well sir.
CU ON CCTV PICTURE, SHOWING GERVAIS.
SC10. INT. HOSPITAL. DAY.
GERVAIS IS DOING THE GERVAIS DANCE FOR A BUNCH OF PATIENTS. THEY ARE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
GERVAIS: Da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. Da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. Ah, bless. Look at your laughing little faces. [TO A BURNS VICTIM]. Not, you, of course, you haven't got a face. But the rest of you. Bless. Such lovely little spasmos.
HE CONTINUES TO DANCE. FADE INTO END CREDITS, WHICH ROLL OVER A 'GERVAISE DANCE' TUNE REMIX OF THE SIMPSONS THEME.